My new years' resolutions for 2018 (any many previous years) involved losing ten pounds, saving money, paying off debt and getting promoted (for more money).
While the specific details are not yet nailed down, my new years' resolutions for 2019 involve:
- spending more time with loved ones
- Volunteering
- being present and more connected to my students while I'm teaching
- being in a state of love, gratitude and appreciation as much as possible throughout the day
- Giving more (being more of a giver than a taker)
- Finding ways to serve others
- Stop caring what others think
Can you see the shift? In previous years I had always made resolutions and goals that involved my own personal benefit. There is nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight or wanting a promotion, but these were all for superficial reasons like wanting to look good in a bikini and wanting a bigger salary. If you want to lose weight for health reasons, to be able to stick around longer for your kids and grandkids, that's a completely different thing. If you want to earn more money to be better able to care for your family's needs, that's different from my underlying reasons for wanting a higher salary which basically involved more shopping and surf trips for me, and me alone.
As 2019 approaches, I realize that my resolutions involve serving and connecting with others. While I never saw my diagnosis as a death sentence, there's nothing like a life-threatening illness to make you see the bigger picture. The bigger picture. Sure, losing ten pounds and finding your jeans a little bit looser is nice, but when I die, I'm not going to care about that, nor is that going to foster genuine and meaningful happiness. A promotion or a raise is great. But what is that extra money going to buy that will really make you happier? I mean, genuine, meaningful happiness. I guess it could if you use the extra money to spend on others, towards the needy.
One of the first things I thought about when I was diagnosed with cancer was....I'm not ready to die yet because I haven't done anything to contribute. I had this overwhelming feeling of desire to contribute to something bigger than myself. Not in some grand way necessarily, but I came here to serve those less fortunate. I also thought about the fact that my whole life had been about fun and pleasure: surfing, salsa dancing, traveling, and anything that I wanted to do. I lived a very selfish existence when I know I came here to have a more selfless existence. I wasn't being true to myself. My whole life has been about me, when my whole life really is about others.
I hope everyone reading this has a Happy New Year! Thank you to everyone for your continued love, prayers and support. Hope you all had a great Christmas!!
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